Pacing Victory

That's sort of a goofy title for this post. What do I mean?

Well ... perhaps a story to illustrate.

I made some very boner moves today.

I offered to share some of my needlework stash with a local gal. When she arrived at my home and I got out the box that I remembered the stash being in, I realized that I'd already culled the box and most of the items I'd offered to her were already gone. Ooops. I felt really foolish for having offered something from memory instead of making sure the items were still available.

To try and make her visit worthwhile, I asked the gal about what other crafts she did. Maybe I'd have something else to give her. So we started looking through my lace ... and I realized that I need to sort out the pieces I want to keep for myself before I can offer the lace I no longer need. I had to revoke the offer. So, boner move number two.

Then I asked her about her family. It turns out our teenagers are the same age. She told me her son's name. It was familiar ... then I blurted out, "That name really rings a bell. Did he have a discipline problem?"

I knew that was a huge blunder the moment it came out of my mouth. Well, it turns out her child did used to talk a lot in class and get called on that. But, geez! What a thing to ask a child's parent!

After this lovely woman left, I was kicking myself left and right. I told my sweet husband what happened and he rolled with laughter, "Yeah, Hon. You weren't about to recover from that one once the horse was out of the barn."

Well, I suppose the situation was funny in a too-horrible-to-admit kind of way. But the laughter really didn't help. My reaction? I kicked myself harder and started crying out of frustration. This mouth of mine! Speak first, regret later.

I recognized that this "kicking myself" reaction was exactly what my psychiatrist cautions me against. So Dale helped me find a way to get a new perspective on the problem. He reminded me that I've already learned the lesson I need to learn from the situation and that continuing to call myself negative names isn't going to help a thing.

In other words, it was time to rid my mind of those self-defeating thoughts, turn my thinking around, and pace victory by moving toward being the kind of woman I want to be.

You know.

One that thinks before she speaks so she doesn't inadvertently dis someone else's child.