Life Update

It has been a month!

Dale and I had a number of events shake our life and rattle our hearts recently.

1. Our eldest is in the midst of a major life transition. Their health is in flux as well as a change in job status. As parents, Kit's struggles are hard to watch. But as a capable adult, the cascade of changes are being managed. Our job now is to give Kit space, support the progress, and keep from offering unwanted advice.
   
   
   
2. The entrance into the world of our first grandson was heightened by some challenges in utero. Born full term but two weeks before expected, Gabriel is tiny and beautiful and thriving now. Our daughter Jodie is recovering well from the surgery of helping her baby out the "sun roof."
   
   Unfortunately, the baby shower I was hoping to host was cancelled.
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. Dale felt unwell for a couple weeks, then became a resident of the North Springfield Resort and Spa (aka our local hospital) for 8 days. Throughout his stay, he charmed every member of the staff with his sincere kindness, cooperation, and patience.
   
   He came home two days ago with a drain in his side and a likely life-changing challenge. We hope to get a firm diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment plan next week. His tenderheartedness and gentle humor never flag. Though he is the patient, he remains my rock and steadying force on this path.
   
   
   
4. With a change in our Medicare plan in January, I'm having difficulty procuring one of my prescriptions which helps me manage my mental health condition. That condition is currently under stress (understatement). Dale's forbearance, persistence and diplomacy with our providers is helping to solve that problem. It's a waiting game.
   
   
   
5. Then on January 25th, I learned that my favorite co-worker and friend from my years working in the children's library in SoCal died last December. The news took my breath away. I grieve that loss.
   
   
   
6. Yesterday we smelled natural gas in our home's entryway. A kind, efficient, capable and professional young man from the gas company found a leak in our furnace. We'll be without that heat source until February 12th. But the gas technician got the fireplace working so we can stay warm through these frosty, foggy nights.
   
   
   

So!

It's been weeks full of challenges with more hiccups ahead of us. Our mantras?

"Follow the science"

"Look for the helpers"

"Be kind to yourself"

"Better together"

Through it all, our sympathetic, thoughtful, gracious neighbors became better friends. They each use their gifts, knowledge, talents, and compassion to help us with particular problems. We so appreciate their generosity and ongoing support. It seems we've become the neighborhood grandparents now, receiving the help of the next generations.

Any kind thoughts you can breeze our way are most appreciated. Please know that even if we don't acknowledge your messages right away, we are touched by them. It's simply ... we're a bit distracted right now.

In between doctor visits, Dale and I plan to continue sitting side-by-side with Puzzles and Podcasts, taking country rides in the convertible with the top down this Spring, short visits to parks, an easy geocache or two, and stopping to appreciate the sunsets each evening from our backyard vantage point. We still get to live some of our small dreams.

All in all, it's a good life.

~ Margaret

Today's Phrase

 Let's be part of the courageous, the steadfast, and the just.

Enduring Change

It takes patience and persistence,

and balance and breath,

and the tenacity to lift one foot after the next.

A Simple Life

A simple life is what Dale and I are growing here in Oregon. 

We eat simply at home, and go to two favorite restaurants as a treat. 

We learn about our surroundings by visiting parks and searching for geocaches. Those activities are taking us to quiet parts of town we never knew existed.

Our personal pastimes are full of crafting and reading and word games and puzzles and taking photos and delving deeply into favorite topics and gazing into the night skies.

For exercise, we walk or ride a bike or do simple stretches.

We nap.

We enjoy some movies separately because we have quite different tastes. Then we come together to watch old favorites like all seven seasons of The West Wing. We're both avid podcast fans and listen to them together and on our own.

We relish our time with Jeanne, with Jodie and Kenny, with Julie, Jeff, and the grandkids ... even if only via text or video calls. Spending hours with them in person is our delight.

Dale and I enjoy each other's company. We love each other's humor. We replenish with time to ourselves.

In our retirement, there is a lot of breathing space. We've released most activities and relationships that cause angst. We can tell the difference between what's important and what is not.

We are grateful for all these blessings. It's our simple life. 
 

Be Grouch-y

 

Wise man, Groucho.

How to Be a Beauty

As I continue to heal, I'm leaning on old habits -- like reading favorite quotations. I like to connect to authors and thinkers that have come before me.

In general, I don't enjoy Roald Dahl's writing, He reminds me of Tim Burton. They see things from a skewed point of view. But I do like this.

New Year

Time to plant some seeds to take root in this new year.

 

(attributed to Theodore Parker, but I heard it on the Inspirational Living podcast)

Good Enough

Today ... not even excellence. I'm a bit under the weather (which is cloudy and rainy), so I'm shooting for good enough. 

I like the sentiment, even though I don't chase perfection any more. That's a young woman's game.

A Little Bit o' Paradise

 

Come Fly with Me

Every year, on the week between Christmas and New Year's Day, I take time to reflect and plan. I reflect in writing on the year gone by, remembering lessons learned, "wins," things in myself that could use some updating. I plan by picking my "Word of the Year," by deciding on a main focus for the coming year, and by making lists. My main list is "23 in 2023," a list of goals to reach for.

I happened upon this image today. I'm not only the pilot for 2023, I'm the navigator.

I think I'll fly through the week with this in mind.

Reminders (to Myself)

 Merry Christmas, my friends.

In July, I Wonder

#foranaudienceofone

This Goes in the "Win" File

I had a good day today. Nothing extraordinary. A walk in a light rain. A good podcast to listen to. A positive counseling session. Forward movement on a medical problem that's been stuck for nearly a month. A super funny laugh-out-loud-until-I-bother-my-husband-working-down-the-hall Facebook post.  Watching a bunch of Christmas videos. Cutting my fingernails. A warm shower on sore muscles. An excellent conversation with Dale. 

Nothing big.

But in a "season of sacrifice," (Covid isolation), having a good day needs to be noted and celebrated.

Sunday Blessing

More Than Accolades

Yesterday I made reference to working through a big job with many steps. One of today's steps was to sift through five boxes of memorabilia. I found a box that had awards and plaques and county fair ribbons and my high school diploma and college degree.

Unfortunately, all of the items are ruined beyond repair, full of mold and mildew, spotted, stinky. They're likely health hazards.

Way back in 1987, in the midst of separation and divorce from my first husband, there was a house fire while my then-husband was packing up the house to move. When the fire happened, I was living in a women's shelter with our two babies. Apparently, the box with these tangible objects of my successes got soaked as the firefighters put out the fire.

That whole period of my life was extraordinarily chaotic. Much of the "stuff" was packed away as is. When the items were finally returned to me, I stored them before going through them. I moved on with my life. I built new memories.

Through all these years, every time I'd peek into those boxes, I'd feel sick inside, and just close them up again and push them to the back and "bury" them to deal with later.

"Later" has finally arrived. Today I began dealing with those five boxes. Let's just say, "I'm feeling all the feels."

I'm reminded of what J.K. Rowling wrote in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. 

Ron Weasley had been attacked by brains in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic. Tentacles of the brains had attached to Ron, leaving deep injuries. Later, Madam Pomfrey treated Ron as he was healing, but the healing was slow in coming.

According to Madam Pomfrey, 

thoughts could leave deeper scars 

than almost anything else.

Tonight, I can attest to this.

This Weekend's Motto

"One evolution at a time."

I've got a big job ahead of me. It's a process with many, many steps. Looking at the big picture is too overwhelming. I'm not going ring the bell three times. I refuse to quit. So to do the job, I need to concentrate on the current step.

Admiral William McRaven's words have been my motto this weekend, and will continue over the coming weeks.

One evolution at a time.

My Kind of Competition

Competing with myself

So sayith Mary Lou Retton

Advice from a Giraffe

The low barometric pressure has me off kilter today. To distract myself, I spent a little time cruising around Pinterest. I found this.

Score!

Go me! Hooray!

I completed another of my 19 in 2019 goals today!

Goal #19:  "Finish at least one of these courses" ... and I gave 7 possibilities. I worked through The Creative License by Danny Gregory.

At the start of the year, I was gung-ho about taking this course and finally learning to draw. My early efforts were good. But then drawing got hard. It made my head hurt to try. I didn't want to pick up my pencil. So I switched gears and used some online tutorials to draw some of my favorite cartoon characters. I liked that better. But I was finding excuses to do anything except draw. Honestly, I'd rather clean the kitchen or do laundry. Instant satisfaction from a job well done!

So I switched gears again. I decided to carefully read through the book, and absorb some of the concepts offered, then use them to apply to the arts I enjoy more. So here are my final thoughts on this book.

Though there are some basic guides to learn to draw in the beginning of the book, that is not the book's primary thrust. The subtitle to The Creative License is "Giving Yourself Permission to be the Artist You Truly Are." 

That means giving yourself permission to try and fail at drawing. Then to try and fail at any other art form you choose to attempt.

Danny Gregory uses drawing as his entry point into a creative life. He annoys me sometimes by presuming it's the best entry point ... mostly because of its convenience, I guess. All you need is a pen and a notebook. 

Of course, I take issue with that presumption because the concepts he presents can easily be adapted to any creative medium. After all, with a smartphone in your pocket, I'd say that photography is equally or more convenient than drawing. But that is my bias.

He does get around to talking about other artistic mediums toward the end of the book.

What I learned for sure is what I truly already knew: drawing is not something I really want to do, or I would have been compelled to try it a lot earlier in my 61 years on the planet.

I also learned that I'm capable of learning to draw, and can have some success at it if I put the time and effort into it. But it hurts my head right now. I don't itch to pick up a pencil and draw the way my fingers itch for a needle, floss, crochet hook, yarn, or camera.

Will I ever learn to draw? Maybe. If I find the right teacher at the right time in my life. 

So I had to ask myself, "Why did you think you wanted to learn to draw at the start of 2019?" That answer is easy. 

Whenever someone asks me, "What do you do?" I find that a tricky question. Being an at-home mom and a homemaker for most of my life has been rewarding, but those occupations are not generally satisfying to questioners who are looking for a profession as an answer. 

But if I say, "I'm an artist," the response is usually, "Oh! You draw and paint? I wish I could do that." Then I have to say, "No. I can't draw. I'm a needle artist." That always gets a weird look and I have to explain more. Saying "I'm a photographer" is easier to understand, but then people want me to take photos of people or events, and that's not my preferred subject. To me, taking those kinds of photos can hurt my head as much as drawing does. 

I took up The Creative License hoping to learn to draw to simply have an easier, truthful answer to a banal question. Honestly, that's an awfully insubstantial reason to want to learn to draw.

At the end of the book, Danny has a  l-o-n-g  list of other art forms to try. I counted 50 that I've already done, most with a degree of success. I'll own that achievement and proudly display those gold stars.

So for now, I'll call this goal reached. I'll return to some of my many other more favored art forms. I have a plethora awaiting my attention in my Studio. Tending to some of those will help me mark off more entries from my 19 in 2019 list of goals.

I Have Dale

There are times when I can't get out of my own head. Today is like that. I have a malaise about me. A lack of energy. A touch of ... sadness ... unnamed.

To break the circular thoughts, Dale and I took a ride in the convertible. A little wind in my hair. My favorite human by my side. A bit of distance vision.

It helped for a while. Then that passed and the lack of vision returned. So we try the next thing. It works for a while. Then we try the next thing.

Maybe the dropping barometric pressure is bringing me down. Maybe I haven't had enough hours of sleep. Maybe it's because my excited, "I want to try this!" list has devolved into a "When the hell are you going to get around to it" list.

Maybe it's part of the grief because one of my brothers died. I don't quite know what to do with the feelings of losing a brother who hasn't wanted to be close to me for years. How do I grieve the loss of a person in death when I've been grieving our broken relationship for years when he was alive?

All these feelings will pass. Or morph.

In a few days, I'm off to a long-anticipated, soul-opening retreat. The teachers and women I meet there are sure to help me alter my energy and outlook.

Until then ... well, until then I'll hang close to Dale. I'll attempt to be kind to myself, to allow the uneasy thoughts to slip out of my grip, and try the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing until some effervescence returns.