Diagnosed

Covid.

That is all.

Throwback Thursday: Oh, Idaho!

 I got such a laugh when I happened upon this scene in rural Kootenai County Idaho. 

Driving my daughter to work along the back roads, I caught this "dog" out of the corner of my eye. I did a double take and turned the car around to capture the scene.  

I still wonder why there is a camel in north Idaho standing under pine trees on damp soil with a slash pile burning in the background. It's not exactly an arid, sandy habitat!

Pausing to take the photo was worth it. I hope I didn't make my kid late for work.

Oh, the Irony

I got a sneak peek into the back room of a local business.

The sign is right. Momma don't work here.

Tom and Friends

I hung out with Jodie yesterday morning. I met her at work to help with a project she runs for seniors -- a food pantry for people needing a little extra help to fill their kitchen shelves. All summer she's been leading an effort to grow produce in the community garden. Last I heard, they'd harvested over 830 pounds of vegetables, all given away for free!

I visited the community garden a couple weeks ago. I recall seeing potatoes, zucchini, tomatoes, chard, several kinds of peppers, beans, onions, some herbs, lettuce, artichokes, Brussel sprouts and more. It's the first time she managed this program and did an amazing job.

Now that Fall is here, the food pantry will need to purchase some of the food in addition to the donations they receive. To that end, Jodie's work put on a fundraiser. I volunteered to help with the set-up. My part was helping to blow up balloons. 

Whatever it takes.

When I got to the Adult (Senior) center, I was greeted by some wild, roaming guests.

Tom had quite a brood with him. He watched over all the gals as they crossed the parking lot.

He acted like he owned the place. 

It's cool to see the wild turkeys up close -- but not close enough to get attacked.

Deep Throated

Summer of P: Past and Purple

From 2014: Iris

Get your mind out of the gutter. This iris was on the "Iris Hill" in our yard in Post Falls ... not near the curb.

(I'm not right in the head today. Can you tell?)

We had a new roof and new rain gutters put on the house this week. It's hard to blog in a construction zone, so I didn't. The house looks quite nice now, all buffed and polished.

Our "Summer of P" is nearly over. I'm considering whether or not to have a special focus for this Fall. "September is the other January" when it's time for new beginnings with the new school year, the new season. Ideas are coming slowly. 

Household Sculpture - 4

It's a rubber band, man! A biggish 2-1/2 inch diameter yellow rubber band.

At least one of my friends figured it out. I was listening to a podcast, mindlessly twisting the rubber band in my fingers, then dropping it on the table. It looked cool. I took a picture

Played again. Another cool shape. Took a picture.

When I got into my photo editing program, I started playing around with tone and texture and sharpening. The shapes are starker and more sculptural when on the plain white background than this wood table. On the white, the black-and-white images made the rubber look like metal to me.

A bit of photo fun. I amuse easily. 

Household Sculpture - 3

 

Household Sculpture - 2

Household Sculpture - 1

 

Come Fly with Me

Jodie gave me this journal with a laser-cut cover. I use it for my daily task list. The way the page lit up caught my eye.

Still Tucked In

Padding around the house in my slippers, staying inside where it's warm and dry, keeping close to a box of facial tissues. 

Sigh

Too Hot

High temperatures.

Lack of sleep. 

I've got ambition,

But no energy for execution.

I'm going to go read.

It's Getting Personal

I'm going through a thing.

I've referenced it before, here on my blog. Now it's reaching a different stage. For the last year (plus), I've been dealing with higher-than-my-usual levels of anxiety. I realize many of us have. It's been a difficult 19 months in the U.S. Besides the whole Covid-19 debacle, I'm also resetting my life due to moving to a new state and my husband having a stroke.

I'm taking care of myself. Using all the tools ... diet, meditation, writing, gratitude, puzzles etc. I've been in counseling. The bipolar syndrome I deal with is well-managed. But now and again, the anxiety peaks higher than I deal with comfortably. So I've been prescribed a new medicine to be used only at those peaks. I've had it for nearly three months now, but used it for the first time last weekend.

Yowsa. It works.

My brain did feel dopey, yes. That part lasted for a couple days and was an ... unusual ... feeling. Not something I want to experience very often. I doubt I'll have any urge to abuse this medicine because I'm not fond of that particular feeling. The remarkable thing for me was how "released" it made me feel. 

I'm a very responsible person. I often act like I'm responsible for more decisions than I actually am. I have super high standards for myself, and when I approach them, I reset the bar even higher. I'm tied to my task lists more than I like to admit. I have a horrible habit of kicking myself for not meeting my own expectations and then whining about it out loud. For the last several weeks I kept talking about "running away" so I could have a break from the junk weighing on me. But, you know, right now there is no place to run.

So, with Dale home to keep an eye on me, I took a pill.

I have never felt so free and relieved before.*

What is important and what isn't important became very clear. I actually rested and had no guilt for "doing nothing." Twice, I took a nap! A true rarity because I usually can't allow my brain to turn off for a while. The feelings were greatest the first day, but they've lasted for most of the week. I'm far less amped up, and much easier to be around in general ... including easier to be around my own self.

I don't have the urge to run away anymore.

One of the things that felt less important was writing a blog post here every day. So I've missed a few days. On purpose. 

I love this blog. I've had some version of it since the early days of the internet when I started CameoRoze's Stitcher's Studio, my website about needlework. Studio Window was created in 2007. It's a big part of my life. I use it as my digital scrapbook. I like to look back on my posts and see what I've accomplished and note how I've handled my life's big events.

Right now, though, there's a bit of "burden" to my daily posts. As Dale and I approach full retirement, I'm slowly releasing burdens.

So for a time, I'll write blog posts when I feel like it. Sometimes it will be daily. Or there might be days -- weeks? -- in between postings. I don't know. I'm making it up as I go along.

I feel a transition, and I'm going with it.

-----

*  Well, except, perhaps,

    when the judge told me in court

    that I no longer had to be the family trustee.

    That was life-changing.

    A "before-and-after" moment.

Pause for Poetry

I was encouraged to read a poem today. To think about it as I walked. I found this.

Fit No Mold 

I look out in wonder as my story unfolds
However I try, I fit no mold

I try to conform, only to witness a storm
So great a weight, on so small a form

I keep true to self and let belief ensue
For why should conformities dull my hue

The questions afloat, the answers unfound
They say when one is lost, one is found

by Hartaz Kaur Jul 29

https://hellopoetry.com/Hartaz/poems/

I don't know the name of this photographer. If you know, let met know.
I'll give photo credit.

Me Today

I think this artist was spying on me through the window today.

Let's hope I get some good solid sleep tonight.

Textured Leather

I saw a unique handbag in a shop window. The texture caught my eye.

Getting Lost, Maybe

Today I got lost by doing a lot of digital decluttering. It feels good to have some of my computer files in better order, but there's really nothing tangible to show for it. Except, maybe, me being less frayed around the edges.

Maybe tomorrow I can go find myself - and lose myself - in art.

Or maybe I'll spend the day reading. Who knows? That would be good for my soul, too.

Tired and Happy

You know how it is after vacation days ... and then you return to real life?

That was my day today. Dale was back at work. I did a big Home Blessing. That means 4 or 5 loads of laundry, water the plants, thoroughly clean the bathroom, put clean sheets on the beds, scrub down the counters, sweep and clean the wood floors, vacuum, sweep the porch, dust, all that stuff.

AND I cleaned the oven. So shiny!

AND I walked more than 11,000 steps! My current daily goal is 7,600. Whoo-hoo!

So I'm pooped and a little sore, but very satisfied.

Love’s Philosophy

I was reminded of this poem this morning while walking through the forest near the river with Dale. We were surveying some of the damage the winter had done to the tall pine trees. They didn't reach to kiss the sky quite so much after their tops snapped off due to the weight of the snow.

---

Love’s Philosophy

BY PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY

The fountains mingle with the river

And the rivers with the ocean,
The winds of heaven mix for ever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?—

See the mountains kiss high heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth
If thou kiss not me?

Divebomb!

This was the most memorable moment of my morning on the bay. No telephoto needed. Yike!