Miss V

We got a bit of a late start today, but decided to go to our regular Saturday morning breakfast at Denny's anyway. The plus side of this tardiness was that Jodie got to go with Dale and me. Little did we know that not only would we get a discount breakfast, but we a show for free!

We took our seat at our favorite table tucked in the back by the kitchen door. We like that spot because it's quiet, and I get a full view of a large swath of the dining room. As we sat down, we were making small talk. I was in the middle of a sentence when I glanced over Dale's shoulder and saw this:

I got lost in mid-thought.

And yes, that is a corset.
And yes, it is leather and laces all the way up the back.

Miss Voluptuous caused a stir not only at our table, but at most of the other tables in the joint. At my encouragement, Dale judiciously dropped a napkin on the floor. It fluttered behind his chair. He had to get up and turn around to pick it up, and sneak a peek.

When Jodie nestled up against me to gander, she looked, then quipped, "Someone should tell her to just put it away!"

Six waitresses each took a trip to Miss V's table to fill up coffee mugs. Then we'd hear them giggle in the kitchen and send the next one out.

Hearing us laughing, our waitress stopped by with coffee and asked, "Are you laughing about the same thing all of us are laughing about?" Our answer was another peel of giggles.

From then on the meal was speckled with watching the expressions of other customers as they were seated nearby and with continued banter with three of the waitresses (they stopped by our table to say I was welcome in their waitress sorority!) Even the manager's face glowed red after his trip to Miss V's table to check on service.

My favorite customer reaction was a 75 year old man that sauntered down the aisle on the window side of the restaurant, took a glimpse, then walk away ... only to repeat the trek two more times!

A disapproving grandpa in the corner opposite to our table kept the eyes of his grandchildren averted by focusing them on their puzzle placemats. He scowled every time he looked up in her direction. But try as he might, the kids' dad couldn't help but scan his eyes over her bosom a number of times. Good thing his wife had her back to Miss Voluptuous' table.

A red-haired gal sitting at a table kitty corner to ours just blatantly stared. Across the room by the windows, a teenage girl had to pull her sweatshirt collar up over her cheek to cover her smirk. Her shaking shoulders gave her silent laughter away. Her tablemate's eyes twinkled as a grin spread across her face.

I couldn't stop laughing ... and I'm ashamed to say, VERY LOUDLY. Our waitress reminded me, with a wink, that laughing could make me choke on my breakfast.

The best line of all came from one waitress who quipped as we were paying our bill, "Too bad I'm lactose intolerant!" With that remark, I had to run out the door. I couldn't keep my howl of glee pent up any more.