On My Desk - Goodbye Old Friend

If it's Wednesday, it's time for another installment for the On My Desk photo meme.

So what's on my desk? Torn, tattered puppy pillow.


I took some time to clean out a couple closets this week. In the bottom of a box, I found my old puppy pillow. I hugged this guy though most of my college years. Though it's terribly manky now and needs to go, it brought back a flood of nice memories.

One of my dearest male friends made this for me. We grew up together in southern California, attending parochial school, aware of each other, but not exactly friends. Tony was one of the brightest in class. Always the scientist, he was the one to dissect the frog in 7th grade science class on the school's brand spanking new lab table. I think he led the 8th grade math team ... I was the 3rd alternate.

In high school, Tony dated my best friend. That's when I started to get to know him better. I got a taste of his sense of humor and adventure. And smiled every time he'd walk on his toes (he did that a lot!) When my parents moved to Idaho, my best friend and I were invited to Tony's family home for Thanksgiving one year.

After Tony broke up with my friend, he and I spent a good deal of time together on summer breaks in our early college years. He'd show up at my door late at night. We'd walk the streets, gaze at the stars and philosophize about life. He'd tell me about his adventures hitch-hiking across the country or camping in the wilderness. We tried 'dating,' but it really didn't work. We were much better as friends and kindred spirits.

The summer I was a camp counselor, he and another friend drove up to camp on my day off. We hiked around the San Bernardino mountains. Found a secluded waterfall. At least one of them went home with poison ivy.

When I drove to Idaho for my big college move, I got to crash at his college apartment in Berkeley, CA the first night. And each summer on the way to and from Calif, I'd crash there again. Even helped him move from Berkeley to Davis on one of those trips.

One of the best days we ever had was when we attended the wedding of our mutual friend's brother. After the wedding in the east bay area, we headed into San Francisco with another friend. We did all the tourist stuff ... Ghirardelli square, the wharf, the cable cars. It was a wonderful, magical and exhausting afternoon and evening.

Tony became a doctor. Moved to upstate New York. Married. Had four kids (the eldest named for Thoreau). Became an upstanding member of society by serving on the school board for 10 years. We only kept in touch via Christmas cards most years.

Early in our marriages, his family came to visit mine. Unfortunately, that was my first marriage and my husband was not very hospitable. I felt stuck between a rock and a hard spot ... wanting to please my friends and make them feel welcome but not wanting to upset my husband, fearing he'd go on a drinking binge. Ugh. That ended very uncomfortably.

Tony and I rarely hear from each other any more. There's an occasional e-mail. I learned about his father's stroke a number of years ago. But our correspondence is far too seldom. Now we're lucky to touch base once a year.

Well, today is Tony's birthday. Finding the pillow and considering time and gifts given and received has been lovely. So as I say goodbye to the puppy pillow he made for me years ago, I rest in these sweet memories.

Happy Birthday, old friend.
May our paths cross again.
Soon.