This whole idea of blogging is ... something.
I started my blog because I was enamored with a few powerful bloggers. Namely
I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be part of that circle of creativity and talent.
I had my Stitcher's Studio website, of course. But I've been very lax in the last couple years about keeping it updated. It's a mess of dead links right now. The only part that's really current is Cameo's Corner where I show off the things I've stitched and crafted.
So I started my blog to have a more current way of sharing my interests.
Of course, once I started blogging, I started reading more and more blogs. Boy, do I have a ton I check in on now! And what I came to find is that I was most drawn to those crafters and designers that not only shared their craft, but also were brave enough to share their life stories. Stories of frustration with kids, with miscarriages, with balancing their home businesses with home schooling, stories of married life and travels and new-born children. You know, the stuff of life.
So I started taking tentative steps in sharing a bit of that kind of information myself. I'm not totally open about my current struggles, but I do give hints to them now.
It's like these "Today's Phrase" postings. They touch on what's going on in my life, but the writing is not as intimate as what I write in my personal journals. Posting a phrase and writing a smidgen about it is, of course, more for me than for my readers. It's my own little way of giving myself a spiritual boost. Of reminding myself that I can work through my problems. Of giving myself one more day of hope.
And through these posts, I have begun to share my voice. Own it's power. And not be ashamed.
Some family members shake their heads, wondering why I put this kind of stuff out there in the world. I suppose ... it's that part of me that loves to read biographies and autobiographies. I love reading the stories of other people's lives. Of the obstacles and trials faced and overcome. Of the bravery and courage people find in tough situations. Of friendships. Of family relationships. Of loves cherished and lost. Of accomplishments -- some that only benefit the person, some that benefit all of society.
So my little life in north Idaho may not be much. It doesn't rock the country. But it is sort of cool to look at my blog statistics and see that of the approx. 30 people that do check in on me every day, they come from all over the world and many walks of life. Some are friends from Fullerton, CA where I grew up. Some are folks from New Zealand who I may never have the pleasure of meeting in person. And all sorts of needleworkers and crafters and amateur photographers and spiritual seekers in between.
I don't know that I've found my voice yet. But I am getting there. I find it particularly interesting that my 'voice' so often comes through my photography. That's a relatively new discovery. Especially that what I love is the details of imagery that are found in macro photography -- close up work. I love the beauty of the perfection in nature that is bumped right up against things that are marred or dying.
That speaks to my life experience. So much beauty. So many good experiences. All bumped up against the hard stuff of life. All part of the same image that is me. CameoRoze. Margaret.
In a way, it seems funny that it's taking me so long to find my voice. For most of my life, I've been a singer. I lead music at Mass and prayer meetings and retreats and religious education classes for more years than I can remember. I was a cantor. I've been the 'star' of a stage show. I've given recitals. I've been a part of college and semi-professional choirs. I've sung at weddings and funerals. People will see me and ask, "Do I know you from somewhere?" And we usually discover they 'know' be through my voice. My singing.
I don't sing in public very often any more. I have a sense that my singing days are mostly a thing of the past. Now is the time to find another part of voice. To allow my training in English and literature and publishing come to the foreground. And perhaps, my photography.
Last year I saw a bumper sticker that hit me like a ton of bricks. I want to be that brave. To speak what I believe, even if my voice shakes.
Here on my blog, my voice sometimes shakes. But I hit the 'publish post' button anyway.
Today is one of those days.
:)
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