Compliments work!

The most effective thing that is helping me overcome my insecurities is my ability to hear and graciously receive compliments.

Over the last year, I've gone out of my way to really pay attention to the nice things people say to me, rather than dismissing what is said as someone just 'being nice' or 'stroking my ego.' To be able to receive a compliment in the spirit in which it is given is not only a gift to me, but a gift to the person that bestows the compliment on me.

For the longest time, I could intellectually know that what someone said about me was true, but not take it in on an emotional level. It made me feel shaky inside. I knew it, but didn't believe it.

As an adjunct to the counseling I receive, I decided to start listening deeply to the nice things people said to me and about me. I even started writing them down. That way, in times of doubt, I could look over these qualities that other people see in me, and remember that in those things, I carry worth.

Re-reading the compliments helped get me through some pretty dark days of self-doubt.

Re-reading the compliments on good days helps me to soar! The compliments inspire me to further greatness ... even if that 'greatness' means that I can make the second bathroom in our home shine as much as the first. Greatness, after all, is all relative.
:)

So, readers, I challenge you to do the same today. Be aware of the kind things people say to you. Really take note. If you missed the compliment the first time, ask them politely to say it again. Then write it down. Read them again at the end of today. And tomorrow.

Once you feel how good it is to receive compliments, you may be much more open to giving compliments — even to strangers! I remember being in Wal-Mart one day and a woman was there wandering around the cosmetics aisles. She looked wonderful. Her clothes, hair, make-up, shoes were all well-coordinated. She looked confident. She was the kind of woman that you want to stop and look at from a distance just to admire as a whole picture, then to take a closer look to see what elements she put together that made her overall appearance look so polished.

So, weird as it was, I stopped her and just complimented her on how nice she looked. Me. A complete stranger. In a Wal-Mart. Call it a 'walk-by compliment' (better than a drive-by shooting, yes?) She looked up so surprised, got this huge grin on her face, and said thank you. She seemed to have an extra lilt in her step as she walked away.

Compliments work!
Accept them from others.
Give them generously to others.
And don't forget to pat yourself on the back for a job well done.
You will thrive on them, too.