Fly Like an Eagle

One of the most difficult life lessons for me is learning to trust myself, learning to trust my own judgment rather than relying on rules, regulations, mores, commandments and laws to govern my actions. I generally live on the straight and narrow ... but now in my 50s, I feel the need to meander a bit, to be less than constrained, to show a little rebellion, even.

As I raised my girls, I gave them little tasks to do that would help them develop this ability to trust themselves. Little things like, paying their own library fines or setting up their own doctor appointments. I'd first show them how it's done, or give them some words to use to get started. Then I'd have them do the task on their own, me standing in the background to help them if they got stuck. Teaching them to do some of these tasks helped them learn that they are capable, they have what it takes to get through life.

I believe I spent concentrated effort teaching them these skills because I'm not so sure I had them when I left my parents' home. Now, even though in my mind I know I can do what needs to be done to live, the fragile emotional me still feels like a kid that can't quite see over the top of the counter. I feel like I'm just not quite big enough, not quite confident enough, to get along in the world.

Practice, of course, helps my confidence grow. My sweet husband once said to me in exasperation, "Hon, don't you know you're more capable than you think you are?" ... and I realized my answer was "No."

Dr. Phil once told one of his TV show guests, an overbearing mother, that she needed to allow her child to try to do things on her own ... she needed to trust that her child had the ability to figure things out along the way. My husband calls it fighting your way out of a paper bag.

It's embodying the knowledge that if life doesn't go strictly by the book, I have the internal fortitude to figure out the detours.

I like the image the above quotation leaves in my mind. The branch breaks, the perch falls out from underfoot, but the bird need not fall with the branch. I can be like the eagle ... open my wings, catch the wind, and soar.