Sailing Away

Say, Susie here will forever remind me of my mother-in-law, Joany.

My daughter Jodie and I spent the day together last Monday. She needed me to help her process a hard thing. She needed family. She needed hugs. She needed to share a meal or two. She needed time. She needed conversation and shared memories. She needed distance vision and cool breezy salt air. We drove west on the lush, winding road through Oregon's coastal range to Florence.

Why? Dale's mom died peacefully in her sleep Sunday night at her home in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. Joany is the only grandparent Jodie remembers. Thankfully, Joany wasn't alone. Dale was on care duty that night, having given both his brothers a chance to get some sleep. Joany's transition wasn't a surprise. She declined quickly for a couple months. She passed away where she wanted to, and on her own terms. 

Just as she lived. 

Consequently, Jodie was shaken. 

As are we all.

Original photo by Jodie Delsere, Edited by Margaret Davaz

Joany led a good long life. Really good, with some really hard times mixed in. She told some great stories. The three things that were most important to her were family, family, and family. She was an artist and her home was her canvas. She was an avid and talented gardener. She has the prettiest yard on the block -- probably on that whole side of town! She loved cupids and surrounded herself with them. Over 300 naked winged bodies at last count.

But who's counting? 

Joany was the family matriarch for over 30 years. Tiny in stature, she filled a gargantuan place in our lives. With open arms, she generously welcomed all our kids and grandkids into the fold, whether adopted or biological heirs. She knew what it was like being a little girl, hoping for a new daddy. She wanted all kids to know they were precious and loved.

Because of Joany, we'll often start our phone conversations with, "Say ..." We'll begin paragraphs with "Consequently ..." even though there was nothing said before of consequence, and often nothing afterward worth noting. It's a lovable Joany-ism. It will stick.

Joany Davaz Steffan
with great-granddaughter Melody Otto
on Joany's 80th birthday

So Susie there will always remind me of Joany, of the day of remembrance Jodie and I spent together, of looking out over the water to try and see what's on the other side of this world.