More Than Accolades

Yesterday I made reference to working through a big job with many steps. One of today's steps was to sift through five boxes of memorabilia. I found a box that had awards and plaques and county fair ribbons and my high school diploma and college degree.

Unfortunately, all of the items are ruined beyond repair, full of mold and mildew, spotted, stinky. They're likely health hazards.

Way back in 1987, in the midst of separation and divorce from my first husband, there was a house fire while my then-husband was packing up the house to move. When the fire happened, I was living in a women's shelter with our two babies. Apparently, the box with these tangible objects of my successes got soaked as the firefighters put out the fire.

That whole period of my life was extraordinarily chaotic. Much of the "stuff" was packed away as is. When the items were finally returned to me, I stored them before going through them. I moved on with my life. I built new memories.

Through all these years, every time I'd peek into those boxes, I'd feel sick inside, and just close them up again and push them to the back and "bury" them to deal with later.

"Later" has finally arrived. Today I began dealing with those five boxes. Let's just say, "I'm feeling all the feels."

I'm reminded of what J.K. Rowling wrote in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. 

Ron Weasley had been attacked by brains in the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic. Tentacles of the brains had attached to Ron, leaving deep injuries. Later, Madam Pomfrey treated Ron as he was healing, but the healing was slow in coming.

According to Madam Pomfrey, 

thoughts could leave deeper scars 

than almost anything else.

Tonight, I can attest to this.