Take Some Time

One of my very favorite 'old hags' from St. George's Quilters is in the hospital. She's a pillar of our group. Some even refer to her as 'Mother Superior.' She's 81 years old, has a mind as sharp as a tack and a wit to match it. She's wonderfully faith-filled with equal measures of sarcasm and naughtiness. She is both kind and opinionated. I love her dearly.

But she's been in a bad way this week. Her heart was not behaving properly, and it weakened her. She's been in the hospital for several days, and is now stabilized. Another quilter, a nurse, has been keeping me appraised of her situation. Yesterday she ordered me, "Call her!"

So today, I did. And then I went for a visit.

Much as I love this woman, I still felt awkward going to visit her in the hospital. I know she isn't doing great. I know some of the embarrassing details of the signs of her illness. When I walk into a sick person's room, the one question I don't really want to ask is, "How are you?" My hesitation to visit friends in the hospital comes from my own desire to not feel foolish and helpless.

So I went anyway ... and we had a very, very nice visit. She has come a long way into accepting the reality of her situation. She still has good humor. She remains pragmatic about the next steps her life must take. She can no longer live alone.

I admire her courage and resolve. It will be much easier visiting her again tomorrow and later in the week when she moves to a interim care facility.

We visited for about an hour. Then I needed to get home to make dinner for my family. But a funny thing happened on the way to the elevator ...

I ran into another woman I know. Well, know slightly, but have admired for a long, long time.

This beautiful 75 year old woman was in the hospital to visit her 96 year old mother. We are acquaintances from church. She is very service-oriented, active in the women's guilds. I've seen her assist with weddings. She has a wonderful flair. She dresses beautifully and is always well-groomed ... put together. Her family is well-known for both hands-on and financial help when needed.

When we stopped to chat today, I started by telling her how much she touched my life 21 years ago. At that time, I was living in the women's shelter with my two babies aged 1 and 3. At Thanksgiving, this woman brought a full turkey dinner with all the trimmings to the shelter. She looked up, obviously surprised to see me there. But she was totally generous in spirit toward me, without an ounce of judgment.

As we chatted this evening, we learned a bit about each other's kids. She noted that she hasn't seen me at our parish in quite some time, and I alluded to why. We talked about getting older and learning about our changing bodies. We ended up talking about all sorts of things. It was easy to both talk and listen to her. After standing in the hall and talking for nearly another hour, we both felt like it would be nice to continue our conversation over lunch. So we exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses.

We'll see what happens from here.

This is SO very unlike me! Usually, those people that I admire, I stand back and watch. I can strike up a conversation. But rarely would I have the nerve to ask for follow-through. The old "I'm not worthy!" tapes start playing through my head.

But because I stopped and took the time for this conversation, and because I heeded the sage wisdom of my husband to 'make small investments' in people, I took a chance today. I faced a little dragon, and I didn't get burned. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

My little errand to the hospital was indeed an opportunity for adventure. I'm glad I took the time to make this connection instead of nodding and allowing the moment to pass by.