Day 585: In Stark Relief

I added this new photograph
to Creative Journey
in my Photography section,
Architectural Detail


Here's another Everyday Matters challenge!
Challenge #29: Something Architectural

I took this photo quite a while ago in Denver, CO. Seems just the right place to use it.

Guiltless Pleasure -- Read!

Ah! If it's Spring, that means it's time for me to go find my copy of The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett.

It's one of my annual rites of Spring ... I just love the hope this book inspires in me!

Day 584: First Day of Spring

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Spring Snow

Ah! The first day of Spring!

What does that make you think of?
Flowers blooming. Butterflies. Warm, sunny skies. Bees. Robins. Romping squirrels.

Yet this morning in north Idaho, we were greeted with ... SNOW.

To Be Alive!

When I was in high school choir, we performed a song with these lyrics. Seems to go along with the first day of SPRING ... and with the quotation above (even if this chorus is a very 60s-ish folk song-type thing)

To be alive
And feeling free
And to ... have everyone in our family
To be alive
In every way
Oh, how ... GREAT it is
To ... Be ... Alive!

Day 583: EDM Challenge # 28

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Dirt Devil

Thought I'd try another
Everyday Matters challenge!
Challenge #28: Appliance

Since it's been over 80 days since I've attempted one of these challenges, I thought it was time to give it another go.

I do seem to like bright red shiny everyday objects, don't I? This time it's a hand-held cordless vacuum.

Connect to the Infinite

I recently read something that made a lot of sense to me. The underlying beliefs of all the major religions are very similar at their core. Religions are often the door through which we enter to touch those principles and connect with those things that resonate and make our lives tick.

But sometimes, the trappings of the religion get in the way of the connection and that particular door closes for a time. Then we need to keep looking until we find another door that opens to those core principles.

I don't feel like I'm saying it very well right now, but maybe the jist of what I'm saying is coming through anyway.

This certainly is where my own life is right now. For years and years I was in love with the Catholic church. I found my sustenance there. I could tap into God through the ritual and the liturgy. I especially found my way to my core beliefs when I led music as a cantor for years and years. When I sang the prayers, I could believe better, I could be more full of light and life.

Then some things happened that squeezed the light out. Instead of tapping into God through church, the trappings got in the way. I'd go to church to be fed, but walk away more hungry than ever, depleted, discouraged. So I decided to take a break for a while.

Now I am exploring, looking for other methods, other pathways, to connect to that core, to the underlying principles, to God, to love of neighbor and self. I do feel progress.

At the same time, my heart yearns for the community of my personal tradition. I do believe that I will eventually find a Catholic community that I can be a full member of once again. But until that happens, I'll follow the side road God is leading me on now.

Day 582: On My Desk - MP3

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Zune


I ran across a photo meme that I think is rather fun. Each Wednesday the participants photograph the things sitting on their desk and post it to their blog.

Well, I was going to post this tomorrow (Wednesday), but decided to be a rebel instead and do it at my own pace.

So, what's on my desk? My newest toy — Zune! It's my new mp3 player. I'm still getting the hang of learning to use it. Tiny. Powerful. And fun!

Doncha just love the bright red color? It's snazzy — like me!

Self Reliance

Ah! Good ol' Emersonian Self Reliance!

I was introduced to Emerson when I was in college. My very favorite professor, Dr. M.K. Browning, was a huge fan. He wasn't much for organized religion. He used to tease me about my Catholicism and call me Sr. Mary Margaret. (He still does!) It's not that he doesn't have a respect for religions, they just didn't work for him.

But, boy, does he love Emerson. He'd get pretty animated when teaching that segment of our class.

The guy looks like Henry VIII, beard and all. Big man, big belly, big laugh. He is a serious guy that doesn't take himself too seriously. A growly ol' teddy bear of a man.

He ordained himself the high priest in The First Church of Emerson and made me his acolyte.

After many, many years without contact, I got in touch with him a while back when I visited my old college town. I was able to visit with him and his wife shortly before his wife died.

I was able to spend an afternoon with him again last Fall. He made me lunch and we ate it while listening to a recording of his wife's singing (OH! What a clear, beautiful soaring soprano voice!). After lunch he shelled walnuts and we had a very personal conversation about marriage. Then he read me a chapter from a book he is writing about his life with his wife. I got to learn about their marriage proposal, among other things. I cried, of course.

A very memorable afternoon.

:: grin ::
I'm still carrying a candle for him.

If you have a chance, go look up your favorite teacher and say hi!

Day 581: Soar

I added this new photograph to
Creative Journey in
my Photography section,
Flight!


And with the geese
My heart takes flight

Clarity

I've heard that one of the best ways to get some clarity is to practice the art of meditation. Lately, the notion of meditation has been knocking on my door more and more often. My counselor suggested it. Then it was brought up in two different books I'm reading. And again ... from another corner of my world which escapes my recollection at the moment.

I've attempted meditation on and off over the years, but never stuck to it. But I think I want to give it a go again.

I think I'll use Flylady's motto: "You can do anything for 15 minutes." Perhaps today I'll make a concerted effort to slow myself down, sit still, and breathe for a while. After all, I could use a bit of clarity.

Sunday Secrets: March 16, 2008

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. I find it to be an amazing sociological experiment. These are the secrets resonated with me today:

Truly no fun when the cellmate is chemically dependent.

It can suck the life out of you.
Glad I was released from that prison long ago.

Oh, this cracks me up! I don't, but it sure sounds like something I'd do!
Of course, I imagine tech support doesn't get phased by much
that people keep on their computers.

ROFL!
Hmmmmm
What does THIS say about me?

Day 580: Breathe

I added this new photograph to
Creative Journey in
my Photography section,
Afloat on the River

What else is there to do when presented with this image?

Breathe. Stand in awe and wonder. Drink in the beauty of these creatures. Rest your eyes.

Be at peace.

How Good Are You?

That's a good thing. An encouraging sign.

One of my worst days? When my oldest daughter was in "the awful years" ... the years between ages 17 and 21 ... we had a helluva row. She was really getting on my nerves and I needed her to just get out of the house for a few hours to give me some time and perspective. I was at the end of my rope. She wouldn't go. She said she'd remain quiet in her room. But that was not good enough for me. I wanted her OUT of the house.

I ended up sort of running her out the door, pushing her and screaming at her at the edge of the driveway. I wanted her to go for a walk or something ... to just remove her energy from me so that I could calm down and get perspective. But I ended up screaming at her in front of the neighbors.

Truly, the Monster Mommy came out.

I believe I ended up sitting in my closet hiding behind the clothes again, crying. Surely one of the worst things I ever did. Deliberately hurting my child.

She and I are good now, of course. Apologies were made. She's grown up some more, moved away, married. And so we move forward and become women who respect one another while still remaining mother and daughter.

I am better than that horrible incident all those years ago. So is she.

Day 579: Come to the Quiet

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in
my Photography section,
Still, Green

I meandered down to the river bank. These geese were sunning themselves, foraging for food, looking out over the water.

When I got too close, they began honking. Then they took wing, and dropped off the bank into the river. They joined some of their geese friends, feeding on the bread crumbs tossed by the woman with her dog at her side. The well-behaved dog did not chase the geese. Or maybe he just thought the river water too cold and green.

Habit

Don't change. Replace. Upgrade. Start fresh.
Be a bionic woman: better, stronger, faster.
Think of it like sewing. What would you rather do? Sew a fresh new garment? Or mend an old one?
I'll start fresh. I'll build better habits.

Day 578: Down at the Park

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section,
The Park Awakens


On the way home from the post office, I took a side trip and headed on down to the park to see if Spring was making an inroad there.

The main paths are clear of ice, but the parking lot is still crowded with berms. There's no new growth on the trees yet, no buds on the bushes.

The gravel crunched under my feet. A stone's throw away, one human with dog at her side threw bread crumbs to the geese. The river was still and green. The trees whispered in the chill breeze that prickled my eyes and cheeks.

Soon. Soon, Spring.

Keep At It

It's a feature, not a bug.

That's one of my husband's favorite sayings ... especially about me and my oddities.
:)

My constant need to grow, to learn, to question myself and my place in the world. That's a feature. Can't wean it out of me. I am persistent. One of my most "endearing" features.

Day 577: Don't be the Weakest Link

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Chain

This rusty bit of chain lay on the side of Ross Point Road, uncovered from a berm of snow and ice.

Try Again

Well, you do if you learn from your mistakes, anyway.

Day 576: Tie Me Up, Boys!

I added this new photograph
to Creative Journey in my Photography section,
Boardwalk [5]

This is the last photo of my Boardwalk series.

I like the rust, the weathered planks, the rusty residue on the rubber edge.

Punching Bag

Beating myself up used to be a favored pastime. Really didn't do a whole lot of good in the long run.

Now I am allowed and encouraged to be gentle to myself.

Day 575: At the End of My Rope

I added this new photograph
to Creative Journey in my Photography section,
Boardwalk [4]

Oh, very punny, Cameo.

Yup. Frayed so!

Whadda Think You're Doin'?

And the things you like to do the most.

And the things you're best at doing.

Guess you might as well spend some time and energy on those things.

Day 574: Sparkle

I added this new photograph
to Creative Journey in my Photography section,
Boardwalk [3]

Aren't I lucky to live in such a beautiful place?

I took my walk along the boardwalk in the late afternoon. The sun was beginning to lower in the sky, but had not yet reached the surrounding hilltops.

It was the sort of day that was warmish and partly sunny, but with a lot of gray in the sky and hovering over the water. The paint on the boardwalk was gray, chipped and peeling from the effects of the winter snow and ice that finally melted this week.

The sparkle of the sun on the water was lovely. There were few other people around, so it was easy to hear the water lap against the wood, the call of the gulls.

A peaceful scene.

Hard Questions

These are difficult questions for me because the 'things' that I want most are not things, not objects. My physical life is pretty satisfying. I have the basics of food, clothing, shelter. My health is getting better and better. My kids have the resources to attend college. There's a bit of money put aside in the bank account for a rainy day. I have as many toys as I need, and a bit of spare cash to buy things along the way.

With those basic needs met, what is it I want?

Certainly a content and fulfilling marriage. Continued good relationships with my girls.

Beyond that, there are inner needs and desires to be met. Personal growth. A healthy mind. Places to direct my intellectual curiosity. Having an easier time learning to forgive. More congeniality with extended family. Good female friends my own age that live near me.

Is it worth the cost? The time and effort it takes to get these things? Maybe. Yes to some. I'm not so sure to others. There is only so much time and energy to go around, so I want to focus on what is most important to me.

Still, these are good questions, well worth meditation.

Sunday Secrets: March 09, 2008

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. I find it to be an amazing sociological experiment. These two secrets resonated with me today:

Our family's secret was RAGE. It started with my Dad, and filtered down to me and my siblings screaming, pushing each other around, trying to get a sense of having some bit of power over ourselves and our situation.

There were too many sleepless nights where I shuddered under my covers, listening to my parents yell at each other through the long, wee hours.

There were too many days I'd hide behind the clothes in my closet, just trying to hold in the tears, the feelings and attain a bit of comfort in the closeness and darkness.



I proudly voted for Obama in our caucus on Super Tuesday.

I crave great oratory. I am inspired by his words of hope, both spoken and written (have you explored his book? I have!) There is power in words where positive images are woven that expand the mind to what is possible, inspires listeners to life-affirming action.

His voice is a welcome change from the sputtering, negative, self-important, autocratic, divisive drivel of our current administration.

Day 573: Piling

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Boardwalk [2]

My walk continues.

Look at that Spring sky!

Who am I?

Hard to remember some days. Hard to see my value.
Much easier on a good night's sleep, though.

Day 572: Upon the Boardwalk

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Boardwalk [1]

Our temperatures reached into the 50s yesterday. It felt great to be outside.

As a treat for myself, I went down to Lake Coeur d'Alene and took a walk around the resort's boardwalk.

Over the next few days, I'll show you what I found.

Help!

One of the most challenging times in my life was the period after I separated from my first husband twenty years ago. I had two baby girls in diapers. The youngest had just turned one. The oldest was not quite three. We lived in a women's shelter for the first six weeks until I got on my feet a little.

You better believe I asked for help during that time!

Asking for help for myself was hard. But asking for help for my girls, well, that was easy. We left with almost nothing. A very few clothes. Not even a single baby bottle. I had to ask for help with everything else for the first few weeks.

That period in my life taught me what true humility is.

I've always been a high achiever. Being brought low helped me experience the entire path from inferiority to excellence. I could not have made it without asking for help from others.

Day 571: A Sign of Spring

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey
in my Photography section,
First Shoots

The ice has melted in the front yard.
The top layer of pine needles has been raked up.
The first shoots from the bulbs are emerging!

Your Choice

Is that too much to focus on all at once?

OK

So pick one and focus on that. Today, I choose "lovely."

Day 570: Cleaning Tool

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Rubba Scrubba

This cool tool has tons of uses. I found it especially good at cleaning up cat hair off furniture and carpets.

I photographed it because I liked it's spiky-ness and brilliant color. Makes for an interesting texture.

The Quest for Excellence

The most wonderful high school graduation speech I ever heard was on the subject of excellence. It was given at my brother's graduation.

The speaker talked to the young people about the virtue of excellence. That it takes dedication to pursue that goal. That one must specialize to achieve it. That one must give up much ... many minor interests ... if excellence in one area was to be gained.

Excellence takes work. Talent is a start. But excellence is borne of concentration, training and, yes, habit.

I would not be surprised if that speaker used Aristotle's words that day. I do not remember. But I was happy to chance on them again this morning.

Day 569: Bag It

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Mesh Bag

Yesterday's marbles were bought in this bag. I liked the shape and texture.

Self Examination

Time for quiet contemplation.

Day 568: Orbs

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Marbles

Lighting is tricky here. I can see my own hands and camera reflected in the marbles.

Still, I like the way the marbles are reflected in each other and the way the light bounces off the glass bowl.

Origin of Change

Methinks this needs no commentary ....

Happy Dance: Thistle Bookmark

After I finished the Passionately Purple Heart, I decided to make something tiny.

Thus, this bookmark was stitched the following day.

It will be donated to charity, too.

You can read a bit more about the pattern in Cameo's Corner.

Happy Dance: Passionately Purple Heart

Oh! My second heart quilt block for charity is done! I like the way this one turned out quite a bit.

The bit of orange really makes it "pop!" Yet the symmetry and varying shades of purple allow the eye to rest.

You can read a bit more about this quilt block in Cameo's Corner.

Day 566: Illuminating

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey
in my Photography section, Compact Fluorescent Bulb


To become part of the fight against greenhouse gases, we are slowly converting the incandescent light bulbs in our home to compact fluorescent bulbs.

The shape and reflective qualities caught my eye this morning.
Smooth.
Curvy.
Sensuous.

Hmm. A little like me!
;D

The way I am enamored by close-up photography, you'd think I walk around with my magnifying glasses on all the time ...

A Girl's Best Friend

Drive
Spirit
Stamina
Endurance

I plan on taking little steps
And staying on my chosen path
So I can be a diamond, too

Day 566: She's Come Undone

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, String

... so tie her back together!

Sunday Secrets: March 02, 2008

PostSecret is an ongoing community art project where people mail in their secrets anonymously on one side of a homemade postcard. I find it to be an amazing sociological experiment. This secret that resonated with me today:

In my house, I'm the one more likely to find a power tool under the Christmas tree or in a birthday box than my husband. Just call me "Ms. Fix-It."

More Baby Steps

Sometimes the small steps I take and personal achievements are quite tiny and inconsequential. Still, it feels good to get them done.

How small? Well, this weekend I caught up on some Netflix movies that have been waiting to be watched for a while along with some recorded TV shows. I kept my leg elevated so that my sprained ankle is well on its way to healing. I stitched another ornament for charity. I sent out a couple birthday greetings. I picked my daughter up on time while maintaining a happy attitude.

Really small stuff.

It made for a satisfying and restful day. I think I'm about ready to face the week.

Day 565: Get the Lead Out!

I added this new photograph to Creative Journey in my Photography section, Mechanical Pencil Lead

Tonight I dipped into my husband's desk drawer and found some containers of lead for mechanical pencils.

High-tech pencils for a high-tech guy.

Me? I'll stick with my trusty #2s.

Hush Now

This is how I spent the day. Quiet.

I twisted my ankle yesterday, had a tough time sleeping last night, so was tired and sore today. I was to attend a wedding, but my ankle just didn't want to go anywhere.

So as Dale headed off, I sat with my foot up all day, stitching and catching up on some recorded shows.

I got a ton done! Finished my heart quilt square. Finished a bookmark. Stitched two ornaments.

Even took a nap.

It was really good to just calm myself, get into a rhythm, and become refreshed.