Watch Your Language

When I was a kid, my mom used to warn me that my mouth would get me in trouble if I didn't watch out.

I didn't mean any harm, but apparently my honesty sometimes took a nasty tone. I still have a bit of trouble editing myself when talking aloud. I do better writing because I have time to edit, edit, edit. But talking ...

:: sigh ::

When I was a teenager I found a bible passage that I used to pray over and over again:

Who will set a guard over my mouth, and upon my lips an effective seal, that I may not fail through them, that my tongue may not destroy me?

Lord, Father and Master of my life, permit me not to fall by them! Who will apply the lash to my thoughts, to my mind the rod of discipline, that my failings may not be spared, not the sins of my heart overlooked; lest my failings increase, and my sins be multiplied; lest I succumb to my foes, and my enemy rejoice over me?

Lord, Father and God of my life, abandon me not into their control!

Sirach 22: 27 - 23: 5
St. Joseph's Catholic Bible

Now, for many of you, Sirach may not be a familiar book in the bible. It's also known as Ecclesiasticus. It's one of the wisdom books in deuterocanonical editions of the bible.

Anyway. Wow. Those words take me back.

I don't really know that they did me much good, though. I've since learned that I don't respond so well to scolding and dire warnings and being told what not to do. But I respond really well to compliments and demonstrations of what to do.

What if, instead of this remonstrance, I prayed more like this:

Say, God. I'm having a bit of trouble when I talk. Things pop out of my mouth that are honest, but they tend to be fairly sharp. I inadvertently hurt people with my words. Can you show me a different way?

And in return, God might say to me:

Honey. I know you're hurting. You have such a good soul, and are one of the most honest people I know. Let me teach you to temper what you say. To the people that bug you, just stop and watch them for a bit. Then find one good thing that you like and give that person an honest compliment. You'll be amazed at the results.

And when you're asked for an opinion about something, assume the person is asking for approval, not criticism. If you have constructive advice, say something like, 'I can see how that fits you to a T. Were I to have it for myself, I'd change it this way to suit my personality.'

You can be diplomatic, Margaret. You have it in you to be sincere and kind. Be present to me. I'll whisper in your ear and show you how.

There's a lot of value in giving positive example. As a Pay It Forward, try being a positive example to those around you today.