Changing Perspective

There are times when I need to mother myself as well as I mother my own girls.

This afternoon I received a phone call from my daughter Julie. I usually do talk with her every day, though generally in the morning. So when I heard her voice after lunch, I was a little surprised. And saddened. She'd caught me in the middle of a (frustrating) task, and I normally would have begged off a chat. But I heard something in her voice that caused me to sit down and listen.

Poor Ju had a rough day. First, she had to deal with a person that zaps the life out of her ... someone she used to be close to but had a major falling out with in the Fall. Then she told me about her class presentation that did not go as she had expected because she forgot to be explicit in her instructions to the students.

My girl was feeling defeated.

At first, I was just going to listen and advise. But then I got a brainstorm. She was walking home as she talked on her cell phone, so I encouraged her to stop, look around, and describe one small thing that she saw. She told me about some blue-colored berries on a bush whose leaves were crispy and falling back. That plant spoke volumes about winter's approach.

My idea was that if Julie could step out of her frustrated mind for just a couple minutes and look at the world right in front of her eyes, she might be able to break her discouraged mode of thinking about what went wrong earlier in the day and return to the present moment.

After we talked about the plant, we returned to the subject of "where do we go from here." Good food. Good rest. Good medicine. Good refreshment. Know what you're resonsible for and what is someone else's responsibility (boundaries). Blah. Blah. Blah.

By the time we ended our conversation, Julie was seeing past the roadblock and had a direction in which to forage.

Now! If only I would listen to my own advice!

I had one of those days with a too-long To Do List. I was trying to do one thing at a time, but kept running into roadblocks of my own. I had six jobs started and none complete. That drives me batty. One of the jobs was to balance my checkbook. Rare for me, I found an overdraft! Argh! I'm usually so careful with money that I tend to kick myself quite a bit when I goof like that.

One thing leading to another, I could feel my agitation grow. Here's where I should have taken my own advice!

Even smart folks, like me, misstep sometimes.

If I had but looked out a [metaphorical] window (it was dark outside, after all) to see beyond my own sphere, I could have had an easier time changing my perspective. As it was, my sweet husband gently told me not to sweat the small stuff. "That's what overdraft protection is for, Hon." he said, pragmatically.

Then he heated up some soup and breadsticks and helped me fill my tummy with good food. We watched some episodes of The Daily Show for good refreshment. AfterI finish writing my blog posts, I'll get the good meds and good rest part in.

And we'll begin again tomorrow ... with a fresh new perspective.