Dreams into Reality

This still happens to me. It did again last night.

I liken it to Harry Potter, trying to learn occlumency, trying to keep Voldemort out of his mind. But when his defenses are down, especially when he's sleeping, the evil creeps in to Harry's brain. His dreams are as vivid as consciousness. He awakes screaming. It all feels so real.

Sometimes my memories reawaken as dreams in the night. I feel the presence of the other. I feel all the emotions. It's vivid. I shake myself awake, a part of me aware that my mind is going down a dangerous path. In my half-sleep state, I talk to the person involved. I whisper things aloud that I wish I had the courage to say face to face. I practice being brave and whole. I forgive both of us again.

I'm getting better at shaking these dreams off. But sometimes, they are just too vivid; the emotions too persistent. If I can't return to sleep in an hour, I ask my sweet husband to awaken and help me. His gentle presence, his deep voice, his rhythmic breathing, woos me into the present, places my feet firmly on the ground -- or more precisely, my head gently on my pillow -- and I sleep soundly for the next few hours.

Often, reality is much better than dreams.