A Secret Worth Sharing

I first read The Secret Life of Bees in February 2006 after I heard folks from a book club talking about it on Good Morning America. I'm so glad I picked it up. It's now one of my favorite books. I reviewed it at the time, and then passed the book on to my former counselor. I dropped it off at her office with a note that let her know how so many of the issues faced in this book were things we had worked on together. I thought it was worth a read, and that perhaps she'd eventually recommend it to some of her other patients who dealt with the same kinds of problems I had.

I didn't need counseling for a while, but started back last year to work on some newly-cropped-up issues. A couple months ago, my counselor asked me about the book. She said hadn't read it yet, and wondered if I still recommended it. If so, could she find an audio version? I told her I did still think it was worth her time, and that if it was available on audio, that would be a fantastic way to absorb it.

I went home and found the audio version available at On The Go Books (a service that's like Netflix for audio books). I finished listening to the book again this week. I fell in love with it all over again. There were so many passages that were on target! I will share them over the course of the next few weeks, starting today.

Choosing what matters. Lifting a person's heart. Letting things that don't really matter play a less important role. That takes discernment. Maturity. Awareness. It takes stepping back for a bit and asking, "How important is it?"

I considered these questions where a Christmas gift is concerned. Each year at Quilters we have one big bang-up potluck and party. That's at Christmas. We pick names and buy a single $10ish gift for another member of our group.

This year, I picked the name of a gal who I like a lot, but don't really know all that well. She's got a great sense of humor. Makes gorgeous hooked rugs from wool strips. Has grown children. No husband ... so many of our members are widows. She recently fought a bout with cancer. Today she was talking about 'making it to 65 before falling apart.' She finally has some health insurance now.

These ladies ... they have full lives. So many are lonely. They don't really need more stuff. But we do need each other. Friendship. A listening ear. An activity where we work collectively for the benefit of others. With that in mind, I contemplated what kind of gift to give. I think I've hit on a good idea. It will be in three parts:

1. I like to give something handmade. So I hope to embroider a redwork design and turn it into a stocking. I found a cute pattern online.
2. I'll fill the stocking with a bottle of bubbly ... in this case, some sparkling cider.
3. I'll add a gift certificate, of sorts. A handmade invitation to take her out for lunch after Quilters at the start of 2009.

These gals live simply. They don't get to eat in restaurants often, so it's a treat for them. But more importantly, I want to give her time and attention. I want to learn about her family, her life. I want to listen intently. I want to do something that matters. I want to give her a chance to lift her heart.

In The Secret Life of Bees, August took a lot of time teaching Lily about the bees, giving her space to regroup, listening to her sadness and pain, and helping her see the goodness she already had inside. August figured out what matters, and gave that gift to a young girl. I hope to turn that around and give the same gift to one of my 'aunts.'

The movie version of The Secret Life of Bees is out now. Can't wait to see it.

If you'd like to purchase the book, it would make an excellent Christmas gift!