Celebrating His Life

Dale and I drove up to Lake Oswego (near Portland) yesterday to participate in my brother-in-law Jerry's funeral mass and celebration of life. Sad as the reason for being there, it was a lovely day.

Jerry was married to my sister Eleanore for over 50 years. They met in Fullerton, CA at our family business. They were teenagers, working side-by-side at Giovanni's Pizza. At one time, Jerry and both of his brothers worked for my parents. It was Jerry who stole my sister's heart.

They were married in 1970. I was asked to be Eleanore's junior bridesmaid. I was 12 years old. It's the only time I've ever been a bridesmaid in my life, so the experience sticks with me. I've even held onto and cherish the hair ribbon I wore that day.

Though Eleanore is 10 years older than I am, she is the sibling I'm most emotionally close to. We have similar interests and outlooks on life. Every time I get to see her in person, I remember just how much I love and admire her. 

Jerry had been dealing with an illness for decades. The way Eleanore learned about his syndrome, adapted to it, and stayed by Jerry's side is something to admire and aspire to. They weathered a lot, and it affected not only their marriage, but also their four offspring.

I saw three of my nieces yesterday, and had loving hugs and conversations with two of them. I got to hold newborn Anthony. He is my youngest niece's son, born only five weeks ago. Baby Tony was named for grandfathers on both sides of their little family. He's tiny and beautiful with eyes nearly too big for his head.

The funeral/celebration Mass had a healing effect on me. I haven't attended a Mass in person for years. Eleanore asked me to sing a prelude medley with her. Again, something I hadn't done in front of a congregation in years. My voice certainly isn't what it used to be, yet singing at the front of a church felt like going home. A sense of wonder and peace arose in me as I experienced the familiar rituals of Mass. 

Besides singing the opening prelude, Eleanore and her steadfast friend, Maria, did a liturgical dance at the end of Mass. They encouraged all of us to join in. It literally brought me to tears. 

Eleanore did so much to honor and celebrate Jerry's life. I feel sanctified to have been a part of it.

Margaret & Eleanore 2008

After the Mass, we had a luncheon. Dale and I sat at a table with the priest who celebrated the Mass, some of Eleanore's new parishioner friends, and a couple of the nuns that were Eleanore's guides through her Bachelor's and Master's journey. The nuns are from the Sisters of the Holy Names, the same order that my favorite nuns from Coeur d'Alene call family.

All these touchstones.

It reminds me how important rituals and connection are in my life ... how much I've missed it throughout these pandemic years. I feel so blessed to have been enveloped into yesterday's reconnections.

Here's what was live-streamed. The part where Eleanore and I sang together begins at approx 3:45